Don't Listen To Yourself When You Are Tired
There is a story in the Bible where Elijah has just had a remarkable victory. He had confronted all of the false prophets of Baal and Asherah and challenged them to a contest between his God and theirs. You can find that story in the book of 1st Kings, chapter 18. It is very fascinating and even humorous. After that major victory, Elijah runs and hides after being confronted by Jezebel. She threatens to kill him. He goes from a mountain top experience to a deep valley of fear. In the end, he was just tired. He had been working very zealously for the Lord and was exhausted. He was ready to quit.
Hence the title of my post this week. You start saying things like “I quit” or “if one more thing happens, I quit”. You get angry easily. You start being hateful to people you love the most. You try to find ways to ease the stress and exhaustion.
I had the opportunity to listen to a great podcast at lunch and she talked about how many of us long for things, work hard for those things, and then when we get them we start to resent them. I could relate, the farm was starting to get to me. Such long days, such hard work, so many factors work against you (weather, economy, predators), etc. This year, in particular, has been very difficult due to the extreme weather Missouri has experienced.
I had to remind myself “Hey self, you prayed for this farm for many years! You worked hard and saved hard to afford it! You dreamed of the very things you are hating right now!” That is so true! I think of all the years Paul and I wanted a farm. How long it took to get it. How long we have toiled to make progress in the midst of challenging circumstances. How hard it is to see failure, death, or destruction caused by the weather or predation or disease.
What I needed was a change in perspective. There is a saying that anything worth having is worth waiting for and/or working for. So true! However, I do know my husband and I need to take time to rest. Spring and summer are the hardest seasons to do that as a farmer.
I hope this post helps someone. If you could go back and tell your younger self something, what would it be? Thanks for reading!